Thursday, September 27, 2007

Open Letter to Bill O'Lie-to-me


Falafel*, anyone?

Bill O'Reilly
The O'Reilly Factor
Fox News Channel

Dear Mr. O'Reilly,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're being attacked by hate sites for saying some black people are almost civilized. I have nothing but respect for you. You've been able to hold the same job for many years. And as far as I can tell, you're not constantly drunk and you brawl only infrequently. You've overcome a lot of genetic and cultural baggage to get where you are today.

And I think you've become an excellent role model for your people. I went to an Irish pub for lunch the other day, and I have to admit I was very surprised by how everyone behaved. It was about 11:30, and no one was drunk yet; no one was brawling; and I didn't see a single patron yelling" "Give me another whiskey ya fuckin' gobshite 'fore I give ya a few vinegar strokes up the rasher." They were just like real people. Obviously they're following your example.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

on Jesus' General
...



* As quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against BillO by a Fox News producer, 2004: "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p***y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..."

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