Another day down and on the way to the new home. We have managed to have four addresses in the 7 or 8 years we've been together. Our hope is we can stop with this new one. We've retained a moving company. They will be sending packers on the 28th and moving us on the 29th. For our part, most of the packing we plan to do personally has been done.

Marcia re-sent her request to buy the "toy" bags. I've been trying to ignore her - given that she only surfaces if she thinks there's something in it for her. She is no one's friend unless there's some benefit in it for her. I think the word is "grasping".

With the move in progress, it's very hard to focus on shooting anything. I am hoping I can get back into it once we settle down.

I have a hearing test this afternnon. Indications are that about half my hearing on both sides is gone. Not somehting that has just happened, it's a process that's been going on for years and I'm finally at a point where I have to do something about it. More to follow, I'm sure.

I forgot to mention that I got a return note from the Ken (KSM) fellow. I guess my earlier note to him caught him a little off guard at first - but he's managed to retreat into academic BS defensiveness.

His note follows:

Why do we do this? I haven't the faintest idea. For me, I just need to express myself, and at the moment that can be visually, or with words, or with both. In part it's what you mentioned yourself, I think: working through the issues brings them to the surface, where we can see them in fresh ways, and then jump to another level. Sometimes it does amaze me though that women are willing to put up with what I need to make that happen. Sure, some are narcissistic, one or two have been full-blown exhibitionists, but a lot have just been curious, or willing to help. The true artists, including a few I met through this site, added suggestions which gave me ideas I might not have had otherwise.

As for perception... well, books have been written. As photographers we mostly understand that we see reflected light, interpreted by electrical signals sent to our brain. Look at an object under a microscope, at 10 feet, at a mile, it looks like different things. And none of them are real. The most convincing philosophy I've seen posits that we can at best infer reality. Of course, different cultural viewpoints construct very different realities. Justin Lane's post on a Native American perspective film was fascinating because they really do see things very differently than we do. Which of course means we, as visual artists, have an unlimited number of ways to see things.

Well, I need to get on the phone and try to pin down details on a couple of photo shoots so I can practice some of this. I heard last night from one of those web cam models, basically, her one tfp shoot was actually worse than the ones she took herself, at least hers were almost in focus. But she has a good face, so as a personal challenge I'm going to give her an hour and see what I can get. Should be fun.

Anyway, keep seeing things in a fresh way,

Ken

... ok, maybe I'm being to harsh. I tend to move in that direction when I don't get what I expect. I'm not sure how to repond. I've been rolling that around in my head since receipt of the response.

McGowan sent me a link to a list taht he manages ... a non-glamour, erotic nude list. I would love to join but I'm reluctant, feeling that to do so would be under false pretenses in a way. As I said before, I've not been involved in doing that kind of shooting in over two years. Maybe once we get the house under control and get settled in I can take it up again.

I spent some time shooting architecturals in downtown Tucson yesterday afternoon. When I got back to the computer to look at the results, I must say, I'm not satisfied with any of it.

I've rearranged my portfolio and I'm showing that I'm not taking bookings until late August or early September. With the move coming at the end of the month and the fact that we're buying furniture like it's going out of style, I expect we're going to be too busy getting settled in for me to focus (yes, a pun) on shooting - particularly if other people are involved.

A young fellow, James (PeepeyePhotography) on MuseCube, track down my AOL address and the web site. He sent me a very complimentary note telling me how much he liked my writing. I've not worked on that book or that area of photography for about two years now. It's nice to have the positive feedback, but I'm on to other things now.

The Home Show wasn't a total bust. I picked up one of those carved mahogany models of a P-38 Lightening and Candy bought a laquerware candy dish. We stopped for a late breakfast then stumbled across a gas station where a bunch of high schoolers were washing cars. The car, desperately needing a wash, we stopped. There were a bunch of homeless guys in the corner of the parking lot. One saw that I had a camera over my shoulder and yelled out that I should take their pictures. I did. I showed them the digital results on the camera's monitor. They had a ball - and I got my shot for the day.

It occurred to me somewhere along the way that if I ever get rich and famous at this new "career", if there was ever one magazine I'd like to shoot for, it'd be National Geographic. I suppose the fashion and glamour and all the other stuff is ok, but sometimes it seems to artificial - always it seems so artificial.