Saturday, July 19, 2008

Who is the Eagle and who is the Reptile?

"High office is like a pyramid; only two kinds of animals reach the summit, reptiles and eagles."

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The George W Bush Presidential Library

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room,which is still under construction.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling.

The 'Tax Cut' Room with entry only to the wealthy.

The 'Economy Room' which is in the toilet.

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.

The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty..

The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

The 'Decider Room' complete with dart board , magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

The museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate the President's accomplishments.

Admission: Republicans - free; Democrats -$1000 or 3 Euros

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

WD-40 Lore

As the friend who passed this along to me said, "Everyone should know this!"

Water Displacement #40.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts.

It was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts.

The workers were so pleased with the product, they began smuggling (also known as "shrinkage" or "stealing") it out to use at home. The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest, as they say, is history.

It is a carefully guarded recipe known only to four people. Only one of them is the "brew master." There are about 2.5 million gallons of the stuff manufactured each year. It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that can hurt you. When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. A miracle! Try it on your stovetop ...Voila! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

Here are some other uses:

  • Protects silver from tarnishing.
  • Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
  • Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
  • Keeps flies off cows.
  • Restores and cleans chalkboards.
  • Removes lipstick stains.
  • Loosens stubborn zippers.
  • Untangles jewelry chains.
  • Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
  • Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
  • Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
  • Removes tomato stains from clothing.
  • Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
  • Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
  • Keeps scissors working smoothly.
  • Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
  • Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
  • Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
  • Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
  • Lubricates tracks in sticking windows and makes them easier to open.
  • Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
  • Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
  • Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
  • Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
  • Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons and bicycles for easy handling.
  • Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
  • Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
  • Removes splattered grease on stove.
  • Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
  • Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
  • Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
  • Removes all traces of duct tape.
  • Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
  • Florida's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."
  • The favorite use in the state of New York--WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
  • Attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing is not allowed in some states.
  • Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
  • WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
  • Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
  • If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
  • It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor!
  • Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
  • Bug goo will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

P.S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL*


from Steven Colbert

Priceless: Folks, everybody knows I’m a huge fan of market forces. It’s always bugged me when people say you can’t put a monetary value on human life. Of course you can!

That’s why I demand ransom for the release of my summer interns. Pay up, mom and dad!

Well, it turns out there is an exact monetary value of human life. It is a number calculated by government actuaries based on risk assessment and payroll figures that is used to decide whether life saving regulations are worth paying for. For example, let’s say there’s proposed legislation that will require inspecting possibly tainted Chinese shrimp. And, let’s further say that regulation would cost $100 million, and if you don’t inspect the shrimp, 100 people could die at a seafood restaurant.

Now, if you value…if you value those 100 people at a million dollars each, the benefit is equal to the cost, so the regulation’s worth it. But, if you value them at less than a million dollars each, well, the cost outweighs the benefit. Now, I happen to think—and this is just me—I happen to think tainted shrimp adds an element of danger to the appetizer course. It’s like skydiving with cocktail sauce.

Now, the Environmental Protection Agency uses numbers like this to decide whether to regulate things like pollution. And five years ago, they estimated that a human life was worth $7.8 million, but recently they lowered that to $6.9 million dollars. That’s right, under the Bush administration, human life has become a million dollars cheaper. This…this is great news. Because the lower the value of human life, the less it pays to protect it with regulations. That might be why last week the EPA chose not to regulate greenhouse gases. It’s just not worth it with human life at such bargain basement prices.

But we can get those prices lower. By devaluing life, they’ve made it less likely to regulate water and air quality. And the worse the water and air quality get, the less life is worth living, which further devalues life, which makes it even less likely to regulate water and air quality. It’s like the circle of life. And that’s great, that’s great. You see, while they may have lowered the value of a person, the EPA has given us something worth a lot more. Because a human life: $6.9 million; gaming the system to protect industry from safety regulations: Priceless.

See also: American Life Worth Less Today