Profiling

To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us -- airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year-old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal-of-Honor-winning former Governors.

Let's pause a moment, reflect back, vow to NEVER forget, and then take the following test based on actual cuts from history, on whether or not we should engage in profiling:

In 1972, at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped & massacred by:
(a) Olga Korbut
(b) Sitting Bull
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Lost Norwegians
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women on a Quilting Tour
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
(a) John Dillinger
(b) The King of Sweden
(c) The Boy Scouts
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A Pizza Hut delivery boy
(b) Patricia Ireland and three other crazed feminists
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a) The Smurfs
(b) Davy Jones
(c) The Little Mermaid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, & a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
(a) Captain Kidd
(b) Charles Lindberg
(c) Mother Teresa
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Scooby Doo
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
(a) Richard Simmons
(b) Grandma Moses
(c) Michael Jordan
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

In 1996, The Khobar Towers barracks at Dhahran, Saudia Arabia were bombed by:
(a) The Vienna Boys Choir
(b) The Ohio State University football team
(c) Alec Baldwin
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c) The World Wrestling Federation
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

On 10/12/00, the USS COLE (DDG-67) was attacked in Aden, Yemen, and 17 American sailors were killed by:
(a) Rosie O'Donnell
(b) Barbara Streisand
(c) James Carvell and Paul Begala
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked & destroyed & thousands of people were killed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida
(c) The Jamaican bobsled team
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
(a) Enron
(b) The Lutheran Church
(c) The NFL
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
(a) Bonny and Clyde
(b) Captain Kangaroo
(c) Martha Stewart
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 4/28/02, a suicide truck bombing of a synagogue in Tunisia killed 19 people. Those responsible include:
(a) Ted Williams' children
(b) D.C. sniper suspects
(c) online pornographers
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 10/12/02, two nightclubs in Bali were bombed and resulted in the death of over 190 men, women, and children. Most were Australian. The heinous bombers were:
(a) Bally Fitness Club towel boys
(b) Bally slot machine repairmen
(c) Oscar Hammerstein II, who wrote Bali Hai for South Pacific
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 11/28/02, the Paradise Hotel near Mombasa, Kenya was attacked by a suicide bomber and a car bomb that killed 10 innocent Kenyans and three Israelis tourists. Who did this:
(a) Agusta National Golf Club members
(b) a group of crazed Wal*Mart Greeters
(c) UN. Weapons of Mass Destruction Inspection Team
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 12/30/02, three Southern Baptist missionaries providing free health care to the poor at the 80-bed Jibla, Yeman hospital were slautered by:
(a) Raelian cultists
(b) Michael Doonsbury and Rob Reiner
(c) NASCAR
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 3/4/03, 21 inocents were killed and 170 injured while taking shelter during a rain shower at the airport at Davao City on Mindanao, the Philippine Islands. The homicide bomber was:
(a) Phil Donahue
(b) Phyllis Diller
(c) Phil Specter
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

On 5/13/03, in Riyadh, Saudia Arabia, 34 honorable people, including 8 Americans, were murdered by:
(a) Karem Abdul Jabbar and Sean Penn
(b) Paula Abdul and Mike Farrell
(c) Muhammad Ali and Jeneane Garofalo
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40.

Hmmm . . . Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

(Throughout all these incidents the voices of moderate Muslims were conspicuous by their absence. Silence is most often seen as consent.)